September Must Have

Well, things have been kind of chaotic in my house lately so I haven't had much spare time, but I new I had to post at least once in September.  And I was doing so well in August (for me anyway) and I don't want to mess that up.  So.

Little Jason may have tossed up our schedule, but I love him so much.  He is so adorable and he NEVER cries.  He fusses when he needs to eat, but that is literally all.  We have been so blessed and I think it's cause Heavenly Father knew that our life was busy enough with our homeschool and church schedule and hard enough since we just moved (not just, but recently).  I wish I could put into words how adorable he is...but I can't. : )

Seminary is going awesome.  I think I even love it as much as I loved last year which makes me so happy because I was so worried that I would be disappointed after having such a good experience my first year.  My ward is put together with the 0 period class that starts at 5:50.  Even though I was really bummed that I only got 5 more minutes than last year I thought that I should attend seminary with my ward.  So I went the first day and came back heartbroken.  Because it was the 0 period class everyone was dressed for school except me and it was a class of something like 25 kids.  It scared me.  We called the person in charge and I switched classes that night.  The rest of the stake meets at 6:50, divided by grade.  So now I meet with all the sophomores in the stake and we add up to 15 kids.  It's so much better and I totally love all the kids.  There's actually more boys than girls which is a major first for me.  In every single boy/girl group I have been in the girls always outnumbered the boys.  Now there's 9 boys and 6 girls, so that's fun.  My class is taught by an older couple and I just love them too.  I love learning from them.  I love the scriptures so much.  It seriously breaks my heart if I miss a day because that means I've missed digging into a chapter in a way I haven't before.  Seminary is really one of my favorite things.  Without it, I don't think I'd be able to be happy after this move.  It makes me happy.

I finished Driver's Ed!!!  I passed the final test on Friday and the certificate was sent.  So as soon as it comes I can go take the test at the DMV and get my permit!  I'm getting excited (though I'm still terrified) though now I'm just nervous about passing the permit test.  Wish me luck.

I have finished all the squares for my crocheted quilt and am now working on sewing them together.  This has been such a project.  I've been working on it for over a year!  It will be so refreshing to work on something else when I'm done.

I've completed 4 of the 8 values in Personal Progress and will have completed another one as soon as I finish my quilt!  This makes me really happy because I want to finish it and have time to get an Honor Bee (the reward for doing the extra mile requirements) before I leave YW.

I got a regular babysitting job that starts in October!  The woman that teaches Anna and Gracie ballet has four beautiful blonde children and the two youngest need a babysitter during one of the weekly classes.  They are the sweetest things and I'm so excited for this!  I'll be babysitting them a couple hours a week and she said she hopes to work up to $10 an hour!

I think that's enough for now.  Love you all!

Getting Used to the Best of Both Worlds

I moved with the intention of going back for all the dances and making sure to still see my friends regularly.  Which is a little difficult because after spending a night with them it makes it really hard to come back home because I miss them so much. :( So I'm trying to get used to it so that I can see them without getting depressed again, because there is no way I'm going to stop seeing them.

I spent quite a bit of time with them last weekend with them.  I got dropped off at a friend's house at six where we all met then drove to the dance.  We were super early which is always kind of awkward at dances cause people don't start showing up till about an hour late anyway.  But it was super fun being with them all again.  And just fyi, I danced 5 out of the six slow songs.  4 out of the 5 were friends (which I prefer, it makes talking easier).  And 3 out of the 5 asked me to dance, not the other way around. 

Since we were getting back so late we decided that I could just stay the night at one of my friend's houses.  It was very thoroughly talked out and contemplated before I was given the okay.  Which was fine because we didn't even do anything.  We got back after dropping everyone at home after midnight, washed our faces and went to bed.  I would've totally gone to church with them, but Elder Perry was talking at our stake conference in Azusa so I couldn't exactly miss that.  So I was driven straight to my stake building in Azusa to hear Elder Perry (which I will talk about later) then we all went back to Pasadena for the Girls Camp fireside.

Now, I hesitate to talk about this because I don't really want to tell you about it and I'm not going to be very positive, buuuuut, I'm pretty sure my mom emailed you all the What Makes You Beautiful video that the boys made for the girls in Pasadena.  Well, someone decided that the girls should do a response video...and that it should be filmed at Girls Camp.  Soooo, we filmed a video for the boys to a song none of us had ever heard before...at Girls Camp.  This whole thing made me mad because the whole point of Girls Camp is that you don't have to impress anyone because it's just girls and the video completely ruined that.  And the boys did not appreciate it at all.  Except for literally one or two sweet guys all they did was laugh and point fingers.  We showed it to them at the fireside, which is another reason I had to be there, cause everyone insisted.  The video ended up not being that bad.  I was hardly in it at all, which I was happy about, but it was nothing compared to the boys video.  Their's is so much better.  So there's that.  And trust me, this was me being positive about it.

Onto being more positive.  I am planning on meeting a friend at the mall sometime soon.  It was gonna be tomorrow, but we had to reschedule so we'll see.  And there's a stake dance in my new stake that I'm gonna invite my friends from Pasadena to!  Since they got mad at me when they found out I had one they didn't invite me to. :) Haha.  Love you all.

The Positive a midst My Tragedy

So, on of my best friends I've ever had left for New York yesterday. :( So so sad.  Buuuuuuuuut, I got to spend a good last day with her on Saturday.  They were super busy with cleaning and packing and yard selling so I helped them and just hung out.  We watched the last episodes of the fourth season (the last one we have).  And we also watched 17 Again, which we both love.  She loves Winnie the Pooh so I crocheted her a stuffed Pooh bear to look like the original A.A. Milne's one.  I was a bit disappointed with how it turned out, but she loved it so that's okay.  I'll miss her, but I won't lose touch. :)

I'm working on an online driver's ed course and though miserable, it is slowly progressing.

I finished my knitting Personal Progress goal!  So now I can continue with my crocheted quilt, which I am STILL working on as soon as I can get the book from the library.

We went to Lizzie's this past week, which was super fun!  We haven't seen them forever and I've missed them.  Elle was actually pretty easy to get along with.  Usually it's not very easy to get her to like you, but she totally loved us this time!  We watched the old Freaky Friday, which was super funny.  Lizzie made totally delicious food for us.  We had gourmet pizza, crepes and peanut butter brownies.  They were all wonderful.

Seminary starts on Monday!  And though I'm nervous for reasons I don't want to focus on I'm glad it's starting soon.

I'm going to babysit the two most adorable little boys I've ever known, ages 1 and 4, in Pasadena tonight.  I'm so excited!

The Good Happenings of the Past Two Weeks

I changed my blog not quite a week ago, but didn't make an effort to actually post any optimism, which defeats the whole point of changing it.  So, I'm going to start by looking at the bright side of the past two weeks and remembering the fun things I did.  Hopefully I can remember most of them.

Well, on the 27th I got to go to a musical that one of the young men in my old ward was in.  It was called the Tavern Keeper's Daughter.  It was actually a really good play and he had a good part in it.  I went with his mom and three of my friends from my old ward and aside from being with them it was fun to hear him sing in a play.  He has a pretty beautiful voice.

Last week we had a fun mutual activity.  We worked on Personal Progress and there was a contest to see who could wear the most P things.  I didn't win, but I think I should have won most creative.  I was the only one with a pumpkin pin. ;)

Our library has an amazing stock of movies so we've been educating ourselves by bringing home as many musicals a week as we can.  We've watched lots of Fred Astaire ones and are starting on Howard Keele ones this week.

Mom set up a new chore schedule and we've actually been doing it and keeping the house clean!  I really don't mind chores that much as long as we do them regularly because I love living in a clean house.

One of my best friends is moving to New York in less than to weeks.  It's a major tragedy for me, I'm not really being optimistic about it.  But I did get to go to her family going away party on Sunday and see her for the first time in a month since I was at my dad's.  And then she came over the other day to watch Avonlea with me!  When I found out she loved Little House and the Waltons I just had to introduce her to Avonlea and she absolutely loves it!  We're on the fourth season right now.  She is totally in love with Gus. :)

There are probably more, but this is all I can think of for now and I don't want to post pone actually posting this to think of some more.  Ta ta!

Tiny Update

I guess the reason I'm so scared to post is that I don't want to think too much and blogging requires thinking about my life and putting it all down.  Thinking about your life and writing it down can be good, but right now...for me...it's not.  Thinking breaks my heart and makes me go crazy.  What works right now is distracting myself, making sure I don't have time to think.  Unfortunately, those times still come, but oh well.

We've moved.  Seminary's over.  Attending church in Pasadena is over.  I'm going to seminary graduation on Sunday, then I'm done going to that building. :( So so sad, but like I said, I can't think about it.  If I do think it has to be about the book that my old YW leaders gave me, Who Moved My Cheese?  It's an awesome book about change.  It basically takes your whole life when you're dealing with change (thoughts, desires, actions) and writes it out at kindergarten level.  It helps you understand, get in perspective and move on.  I think it's a book everyone should have on their bookshelf.  

I've unpacked some.  I've got basically everything hung up.  Mainly I need to work on my desk.  We got it for free on Craigslist, so it need a lot of work.  I need to sand it and clean out the drawers, then I'm going to paint it yellow. :) I thought I'd take a jump out of my comfort zone.  Why not?  Once I've got my desk I can organize my craft stuff and figure out what won't fit in the desk.

That's all for now.

Crazy, crazy, crazy

Life is so crazy right now.  It has been for a while, but especially right now.

So much of my stress if because of Mock Trial.  What did I say about it before?  Did I mention that I hate it?  Well I do.  We all do.  We are very unprepared for Monday (which is when the trail it) and are in no way expecting to win.  Probably not the best attitude, but we can not do anything better than that.  I have the fewest things to do and I feel overwhelmed.  I have to work on objections.  I'm an attorney for defense so it is part of my job (as well as the other attorney's) to object to protect our witnesses.  The thing is, they are so confusing.  We have to remember what classifies as hearsay, ambiguity etc. and the actual name.  All on the spot in the second that a question is asked when it is not supposed to be.  Not easy for someone who doesn't like to argue unless she's really mad (me!!!).  Mock Trial is so hard.  If I was interested in it, it would be less hard.  But considering I would never in my dizziest day dreams become anything that would have to regularly go to court, the complicated stuff that I'm supposed to know like the back of my hand goes right over my head.  I can not adequately explain Mock Trial and all the agony it has caused me and my family (all I do is complain about it).  Every single little detail in the case is important and it's just too much for me.  

On top of that I was terrified of moving out of the ward.  We've been looking for a place to move forever since there's no room for a baby where we live and there was less and less hope for finding a place in our ward.  I couldn't imagine losing everything I do with all these people everyday.  Seminary, mutual, Sunday School, activities, dances.  It was my whole life.  Then the nightmare actually happened and it was announced that we were moving to Azusa.  We are moving to Azusa.  I cried all weekend.  I hung by a thread all weekend, barely keeping from crying unless I was already crying.  It wasn't only my ward friends being taken away from me.  I was already losing my friends from CC.  One girl's moving (most likely to New York), two people are going to public school.  I'm going to a Shakespeare class with one girl next year, taught by her mom, who taught my CC class this year, but other than that, I'm losing everybody.  And my church friends on top of it.

So now, everyday I have to think about how I'll be leaving and how much my life will change.  Not to mention packing!  Oh my goodness.  We have so much to do and only one week left to pack.  So stressful.  Such a load on your shoulders when you have to pack.

And seminary.  I still love it.  But it's getting harder to get up everyday and I feel like I never get enough sleep.  And I want to get the Stake President's award, which has extra requirements for going to extra mile in seminary.  So I have to work on that.  I have one scripture mastery left. :)  And I'm so scared about seminary next year.  I'm so scared I'm going to be disappointed.  Guess what time it's at?  We thought we'd get away with something later, but no, we got five extra minutes.  5:50.

My only comfort is the scriptures.  It's strange, because I don't know why.  They've never been like that for me before.  I guess it just provides the comfort and reassurance that I need, while distracting me so I don't have to think about why I need that comfort.  Because if I think too hard about my life, all I can do is cry.  

And I haven't read a book since Christmas.  That is the saddest thing I've ever heard.  Sigh.  I hate to end on this note, but I've got nothing else to say. 

What I should have posted before now:

I swear I started a post the other day but I can't find it.  Oh well.  I'm not exactly sure what to say first, though

First of all, I actually did make a goal for this year.  It wasn't before New Year's but at least I made it a while before now.  I really need to work on Personal Progress and I'm not going to make one of those 'Do better in Personal Progress' or 'Always be working on some Personal Progress goal.'  I made a specific goal to finish Knowledge and Choice and Accountability (both of which, I've basically just started, so that leaves about 6 goals each, plus the projects).  At least!  Meaning, finish them as fast as I can in case I can finish more before the year is over.  If I find it hard to do Personal Progress I can't imagine what it's like for public school kids.  I am always in awe at what they do.

I do have my own school problems, though.  Well, I guess not problems, just not what I'm used to.  What we learn is sooo different from anything I've ever done before and even more different from what they do in public schools.  We are not doing history or memorizing facts (though, with the Classic method of homeschooling, memorizing is all they do for elementary school age).  Whether we remember what we're learning or use it in our lives or not, we are strengthening our minds.  We are doing Logic, which is just another form of math as far as how confusing it is.  I can't even explain it, but it greatly puzzles us all.  It'd actually be kind of funny if we could watch ourselves, being confused together and all having the same exact expression on our faces, huh?  Mock Trial is also very thought provoking.  It involves original ideas, writing, logic, acting skills and memory skills, though we haven't used the acting skills yet.  If I wasn't convinced against being a lawyer before, I so am now.  I have no wish to deal with all of those rules and objections.  Mock Trial isn't my favorite.  I would say I hate it and I can't understand it, but this past week we brought in our opening statements (which is basically an introductory talk about the case overall.  You're supposed to use persuading writing skills to make the defendant sound like the sweetest, most innocent person in the world (defense) or like a horrible criminal, with undeniable faults (prosecution).  All with the same information.) and everybody flipped out at how great mine were, including the teacher.  I was flattered, though I think their praise was exaggerated.

Anyway, I wanted to write more, but I have to do chores and such.  But this is better than nothing, right?